Movies

Different movies mean different things to me. The movie I am watching can be an indication of my mood. This is a list of movies, with their corresponding moods:


War Of The Roses
I first saw this movie with JJ early in our marriage. We laughed all the way through the movie. Afterwards, we both figured that was how we were going to end up one day.

I watch this movie when I am depressed about my relationship. I rented it during unhappy times in my marriage, and I purchased a copy a couple of months ago when the video store was selling off their VHS tapes. I now watch it when JJ is being a jerk. I have also watched it when I was unhappy with FdM.

Every time I watch it, I am amazed by the behaviour of the Roses. How do two people reach that point where they are actually trying to kill each other?

The movie is comforting in a morbid way: someone else is more unhappy than I am.

(FYI) I am watching this movie while I blog tonight.

Shrek / Shrek 2
I love alternate fairy tales. These two were brilliantly done! (Shrek the Third was disappointing)

Sometimes I watch these movies when I want to listen to music. Other times I watch them because I am lonely.

Shrek is lonely. Fiona feels very much alone when she is not true to her feelings. In the end, they are together.

It gives me hope for the future.


The First Wives Club
Three friends getting revenge on their husbands -- all of whom left them for younger women.

I watch this movie when I am thinking about JJ and want to cheer up. It has a happy ending -- and not just for the wives. One of the husbands has a happy ending, too.

I am not a revenge-seeking person. I would never plot, pursue or procure revenge. I do enjoy watching these women pull it off.

In the end, one of the husbands figures out that he made a huge mistake... and his wife takes him back. He was lucky that his wife still loved him and chose to forgive him.

This gives me hope -- hope that JJ will one day figure it out, too. It is too late for him... I will not forgive and take him back. I just want him to figure it out. I'm not looking for revenge... but I will be pleased to know he realized his loss.

I watch this movie when I am thinking about JJ and want to cheer up. It has a happy ending -- and not just for the wives. One of the husbands has a happy ending, too.

Knights Tale
The under-dog overcoming the odds to achieve his goals.

I am not necessarily in a particular mood when I watch this movie. I like the music. I like the story. If I'm in a bad mood, the love story lifts my spirits. If I'm in a good mood, I really connect with William's desire to be more than he is.

And I like to laugh.


Beauty And The Beast
I was touched by this story more than a decade before Disney got hold of it.

I have always been non-conventional. As a teenager, my friends would be mooning over some actor, going on about how cute he was. I couldn't see it. Generally, if others think a guy is particularly good-looking, I find him bland; ordinary. I am more interested in the unique.

I watch this movie (Disney version) when I am bored, or happy. I identify with Belle... the people around me notice that I am different, too. I like that her compassion and humility allow her to get to know the Beast and befriend him. I don't like shallow, narrow-minded people.

This story always makes me feel good.


The Little Mermaid
She gave up so much for the love of a man.

From the first time I saw the Disney version, I hated it. I saw a movie of this story more than a decade earlier, when I was about 8 years old.

This story had a strong effect on me. It is the ruler with which I measure all emotion.

It starts with the little mermaid rescuing the prince after his ship sinks. She falls in love, and sells her voice for a pair of legs. In the end, the prince marries someone else. One of the mermaids sisters sells her long hair to the sea witch for a dagger which she gives to the little mermaid. If she would kill the prince with it, she would become a mermaid again. She stands over the sleeping prince with the dagger in her hand, but she cannot kill him. Instead, she uses the dagger on herself. As she dies, she becomes a mermaid again.

I would cry every time I watched the movie. I would promise myself I would never watch it again. Then, when it was on TV again a few months later, I wouldn't be able to tear myself away from it.

The idea of a love so intense that she would give up so much captivated me. Not only did she give up a magical life as a mermaid to be with him, she took her own life rather than see him die (I never saw it as her committing suicide because she couldn't have him... I always saw it as her not wanting him to die).

If I'm watching Disney's version, then I am in a strange mood. I will watch the movie, then complain about how the story was changed. It lacks the emotional intensity of the original story. I am likely looking for an arguement. Not to be contrary, but to have a lively discussion.


Any Foreign Language Film
I like to rent foreign language movies when I am alone. The kids don't have the patience to read a movie. It is just as well... they usually aren't suitable for children.

I find these movies intellectually stimulating. I usually can't watch the whole thing in one sitting... it requires too much concentration.

What I like about these films is that they are not white-washed Hollywood fairy tales. They don't shy away from showing a little dirt. A body isn't naked to titilate the audience... it is naked because people are usually naked when in that particular situation.

The subject matter of the films is also different. One that stands out in my mind is a Polish film about security personel in the subway. Can you imagine Hollywood filming an entire movie in the subway?

Use of languages also stands out for me. Many European films freely integrate different languages. It is not uncommon to find two or three different languages spoken in a single film. The more I study languages, the more I appreciate this feature. It is a wonderful experience to realize that I suddenly understand the dialogue... even when it is not in English. It encourages me to continue to learn more... and to rent more foreign langage movies.

When I'm watching foreign films, I'm looking for a unique experience. I'm opening up to the varied possibilities in the world. My mind is fully engaged -- both to keep up with reading the dialogue, and to take in and appreciate how it differs from the pablum that Hollywood feeds me.


Star Trek: Voyager Episodes
I have a dozen tapes of Voyager episodes I recorded. Yes, I am a Trekkie. I enjoy Star Trek in all of its forms.

Sometimes I'm watching Voyager because I want to escape to a different time and place. Nothing odd there... isn't that why people watch TV in general?

FdM likes Voyager. It is one of the first things we did together: watch my Voyager tapes. Now, when I am lonely, Voyager is one of the things I like to watch.

If I am watching an episode I have seen with FdM, it reminds me of when we watched it together. If I am watching and episode he has not seen yet, I think about how much he will enjoy it when he does see it.

So, when I watch Star Trek: Voyager, I am with FdM; whether he is here or not.


Teddy Ruxpin
This is a wonderful adventure series. It is non-violent and still manages to be exciting.

I enjoy watching this cartoon with my kids. It is an extended adventure... each series of events is a part of the whole, larger story. The show proves that it is possible to be interesting and exciting without an adult rating.

I sometimes watch this show without my kids. I am attracted to the friendship enjoyed by Teddy and his friends. They are extremely loyal to each other -- which is an attribute I value highly. It is all so simple for them: Help your friends, and tolerate your enemies. It is nice to have things laid out that simply from time to time.

I am usually in a pretty neutral mood when I am the one to put Teddy Ruxpin in the VCR. The simplicity of the Good VS Evil scenario keeps me in a good mood.


Star Wars The original trilogy
I am nostalgic when I watch these movies.

I was 10 years old when I saw Star Wars for the first time in 1977. I grew up anticipating the next episode.

As I watch the movies, it invokes memories of the first time I saw each of them, memories of the speculation surrounding the "teasers" we read in magazines (Han Solo decorates Jabba's palace -- how many ways can we interpret those words?). We used to write our own radio plays about possible sequels and record them.

When I am watching these three movies, I am longing for a simpler time, when my biggest responsibility was getting the potatoes peeled before dad got home from work.

Nostalgia; I had a great childhood. I had some great friends. It is something worth remembering.


21 Jump Street
A TV teen crime drama.

I don't usually go for drama. I am more of an adventure/comedy personality.

I didn't like the show when it was being filmed. I didn't get into it until it was in reruns a few years later. I now own the entire series on DVD.

I have some favourite episodes, and a list of episodes I would rather skip.

When I am depressed about JJ, I like to watch Johnny Depp. He is one of the (very) few "cute" actors that I think is attractive. I will watch any Johnny Depp show when I am depressed about JJ.

It wasn't until I owned the whole series that I realized how good-looking Peter DeLouise was. Not someone my friends would have swooned over, but I find him attractive -- I just had to get to know his character first.

Now that I have the whole series, I find that Peter DeLouise is much more "real" than Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp has the physical beauty, but Peter DeLouise relies more on his personality, and that is a much better measure of his "attractiveness" than how he looks.


Black and White Movies
I have always enjoyed watching old movies. The old black and whites. Even some silent films.

When it comes to Silent Films, it is an intellectual thing. I am interested in the history of entertainment. So, in addition to being entertained, I want to know what people found "entertaining" a century ago. One of my favourites is Metropolis.

Again, it is a simpler time. Most B&W films are older, from a time when people did not feel the need to lock their doors. They did not feel the need to use violence to catch the attention of the audience.

When I am watching B&W movies, I am looking for wholesome entertainment and insight into the values of the past. Or, I want a good laugh (have you ever watched a B&W Sci Fi film?). I guess the biggest draw of the old B&W films is entertainment. Non-violent, simple entertainment that gives me something to think about (the simplicity of times gone by).


I am likely to add titles or genres to this post in the future. If so, it will appear below this paragraph. For now, this will do. I guess it boils down to: I watch shows to be entertained; or to have my mood lifted or reinforced.

JJ Update

I have noticed a pattern to JJ's stupidity: it comes around the same time every month.

SHE gets PMS!

And SHE has it bad, too.

I think that is hilarious. Just one more mark in my favour... I don't suffer from the emotional turmoil of PMS. I never have. A number of years ago, JJ told me that I wasn't totally immune to it... I guess he thought I was a little cranky on occasion. What I didn't do, was push him into doing things he knows are wrong -- like those 2am phone calls.

This month, SHE has decided that I am trying to control him. This was manifested in part by him demanding that I do certain things. He made some unreasonable late-night phone calls to my sisters' house when I was there. KH answered the phone, because it is her phone. So JJ and SHE decided to argue with KH. KH ended up calling the police for advice, and they told her how to block a phone number from calling her -- and said that if JJ called again from a different phone, to call them right back and they would be able to take action.

One of the unreasonable demands he made on me was that I take the paperwork back to the courthouse now that I've corrected it.

I said "no".

I told him, I've put alot of time and effort into preparing the papers. I made sure they were properly signed. I paid the initial filing fee -- he paid the second filing fee, which was considerably less than the initial fee. There is no fee for submitting the correction, as long as you have your receipt. He lost his receipt. I am not about to pay the fee again just because JJ lost his receipt.

My final word was "You do it. If you want to get married, you will make sure you get a divorce. It is your responsibility."

He had no further arguements on that point. He knew I was right.

He would save himself so much frustration if he would just treat me like a human being. Somewhere along the line, he decided that he did not have to be courteous to me. This is nothing new. It has been going on most of our marriage. It is just getting worse now.

He has started saying things just to hurt me. He was never so obvious about it before. Now that he suffers from PMS, he does it regularly -- on schedule!

• "My mother says you threatened her. She doesn't like you anymore."
• "You are unstable."
• "You cheated on me!"
• "I was comparing you to other women."
• "You abandoned your kids."
• "I don't want to hurt the kids... I want to hurt you."
• "SHE is afraid you will hurt HER or HER kids."
• "I don't like the way you spend the child support money."
• "You tried to run me over! I'm going to sue!"
• "As soon as JMJ is living with me, I'm cutting the support cheques in half."
• "You don't even know how to give a blow job!"

Some of these things would hurt him if I said them to him, but have no effect on me. Some are untruths or halftruths that he has a history of repeating to me. Some are just plain stupid.

Some of them hurt.

Rats!

And I mean rats!

In the last week, the cat has brought me 2 young rats. He doesn't eat them, so I have to dispose of them.

Tonight, I decided to clean my wine bottles in preparation for bottling my wine. I had cleaned about half of them, when I needed something out of the drawer. I opened the cutlery drawer, and a young rat was sleeping in it! He scurried around a bit, then jumped out of the drawer, into the cupboards.

That startled me! I was not expecting to see a rat. I haven't seen one in the house for a few weeks now. The two the cat brought me came from outside.

I yelled, and jumped back. Now I have to wash everything in that drawer... and everything in the other drawers, and everything in the lower cupboards....

It never ends!

The cat knew something was under the sink, so I opened the cupboard and he went right in. I closed the door behind him... it doesn't latch, so he can push it open when he wants out. After a few minutes, I heard some scuffling. When it stopped, I opened the cupboard door, and out came the cat with a rat in his mouth.

He took the dead rat into the living room, and played with it a bit on the carpet. The dog approached cautiously, and sniffed at it. The cat picked it up and tossed it in the air a couple of times.

I let them play with it for a couple of minutes, then I got out a garbage bag and disposed of the body, followed by disinfectant spray on the carpet where they were playing with it. Then I told them that if they wanted to play some more, they would have to get another one.

I have really had enough of this. I made a shopping list for tomorow:

• circular saw
• rubber gloves (lots)
• disposible painting suit (2)
• 1/2" plywood (2)
• nails
• carpenters' glue
• safety goggles
• mint
• bleach

I read that a mixture of peppermint and spearmint acts as a rat / mouse repellent. So, I have been applying mint extract after I clean each area of the house. I don't know if it really works, but it is worth trying.

Tomorow is devoted to plugging up the rat holes they use to get to my food and dishes.

I don't ever want to see them in my kitchen again!

Let's Try Something Different


Among the things that make me happy are:

Petting my dog
Soaking in a hottub
Ice Skating
Swimming in the Ocean
Camping with friends and family
Watching Star Trek with FdM
Long walks
Hugging my kids goodnight
Old, faded blue jeans
Shopping for office supplies
Talking to people
Opening the mail
Cuddling with FdM
Going for a massage
Spontaneous dancing
Hot springs
Horse riding
Museums
Art Galleries
Having a friend over for dinner
Sincere compliments
French kissing
Star gazing
Watching the wildlife in my front yard
Listening to the frogs sing all night
Holding hands with FdM
T-Bone steak
Baked potatoes with all the trimmings
Traveling
Trying new foods
Big art projects
Buying art supplies
Watching my kids create artwork
Cheesecake
Homemade fudge
Hugs
Caressing FdM
Paying the bills
Grocery shopping
Cooking with the kids
Driving
Getting dirty
Getting clean
Talking on the phone to FdM
Bird watching
Gardening
Wild flowers
Collecting seashells
Farmers' Markets
Visiting family
Making wine
Reading cookbooks
Sharing my favourite things with FdM
Funny movies
Maps
Sunshine
Fog
Snow
Hail
Raccoons
Email
Algebra
Dandelions
Coffee breaks with FdM
School Field Trips
Science Magazines
Talking to my sister
Popcorn on the cob
Being naked
Macro photography
Rock climbing
Discussing taxes with FdM
Looking at my photo albums
Washing the car
Grandma's dishes
Having my hair stroked
Exploring tidal pools
Playing in the sand
Long, hot showers
Playing in the rain
Looking at my scars
FdM

Aptitude: a natural or acquired capacity or ability ; a tendency, capacity, or inclination to learn or understand.

I have an aptitude for mathematics. I have an aptitude for language. I have an aptitude for visual/spatial relationships, communication, creativity, teaching, logic, and many other things.

So, what do I do for a living? What do I do for fun?

I manage an income tax preparation office. I prepare personal income tax returns... everything from the most simple paid employee to the more complicated self-employed and capital gains scenarios. I teach Tax School every fall. I train new employees every January. I do research to learn about any new tax scenario a client brings me. I track our use of supplies and make sure we don't run out. I deal with the government so my clients don't have to. I rotate posters throughout tax season to keep the window display fresh. I display my own artwork in the office. I rented a carpet cleaner and cleaned all the carpets and upholstery in the office. I chose the locations for the desks, waiting room, coffee station and floor plants.

I do many different jobs at work.

For fun, I like taking my dogs to the beach, bike riding, playing cards or board games with the kids, maintaining my website (I program raw HTML), cooking, sewing, basketball, baseball, hockey, camping, fishing, driving, rennovating, gardening, carpentry.

I have an aptitude for these things... I know how to do them, I'm good at doing them, and I enjoy doing them.

What I don't have an aptitude for is housework.

I know how to clean, but I am not good at it, and I do not enjoy it. Cleaning isn't Rocket Science... so it holds no interest for me.

That doesn't mean I don't want a clean house. I'm just not capable of cleaning it. So why am I expected to? The answer is simple: I was born Female.

I was born Female. Therefore, it is expected that I cannot fix my own car, cannot build new kitchen cabinets, cannot do well at sports, cannot shovel the snow off my own roof. Well, guess what -- I taught my husband how to do an oil change. I've been doing oil changes longer than I've been driving. I've been surrounded by wood working tools all my life, and I am quite capable of using them. I have alot of stamina and endurance, and I love to play sports. And I had no trouble whatsoever shoveling my roof this winter.

If I watch a friends' baseball game, no one wonders why I'm not playing. If I hire someone to do any of these chores, no one criticizes me for it.

So why am I looked down on for being a poor housekeeper? I do not have an aptitude for it. It is tedious, boring work with no job satisfaction. If a job can never be finished, there is never a point where you can say "look what I have done" and enjoy it.

As soon as a floor is clean, it is walked on. As soon as the bathroom is clean, someone uses it. As soon as the last dish is washed, someone has a drink. As soon as the laundry is finished, someone changes for bed. The job is never done, so there is never any satisfaction from doing it.

I will do anything to get out of doing housework. My dad once offered to wash the supper dishes if I would go outside and fill the woodbox. I took him up on it. The dishwasher was already loaded... there were only a few dishes that needed to be washed by hand. Maybe a 10 minute job. But I chose to go outside, at -40', in the dark, through 3 feet of snow, and pack wood from the pile out back into the garage. The woodbox held a 3 day supply, and it was completely empty. It took me over an hour to do that job. And I felt really good about it. But if I had chosen to not do that job, no one would have criticized me for it. After all, it is physical labour, and I was born female.

On the other hand, if my husband forgets to clean the litter box, or he's too tired to wash the dishes and leaves them for tomorow, or he leaves his coffee cup in the living room, I get plenty of criticism. Never mind that it is his job to keep the litter box clean. Never mind that he is supposed to wash the dishes when I make supper. Never mind that everyone is supposed to take their own dirty dishes to the kitchen. I am the one who is criticized when it doesn't get done.

Proverbs 31:10-31 describes a capable wife. I do fit into that description.

Pr 31:13 "...she works at whatever is the delight of her hands."
Yes, I work hard at the things I enjoy.

Pr 31:18 "She has sensed that her trading is good...."
Pr 31: 24 "She has made even undergarments and proceeded to sell them, and belts she has given to the tradesmen."
That sounds like work outside of the home to me.

Pr 31:27 "She is watching over the goings-on of her household...."
Two thoughts on this one: 1) I know what my kids are up to. 2) I need to make sure everything gets done.

So that is exactly what I have done... I hired a housekeeper. That will make sure everything gets done. My husband was not happy about that... but he doesn't live with me anyway. He thinks it is too expensive. I pointed out that it will cost me less per week than a babysitter... and my kids don't need a babysitter anymore. Therefore, I can afford it.

I will continue doing the things I have an aptitude for... and hiring out the things I do not. Just like everyone else.

"Give her the fruitage of her hands, and let her works praise her." Pr 31:31