Cooperative

Wow! Where did that come from?

JJ is being cooperative!

This is the final weekend of tax season. JJ has to catch a plane to Dallas Sunday morning at 6:00, so he couldn't take the kids overnight tonight. I need time to work to catch up on all my clients before Monday morning without worrying about caring for the kids.

So what did JJ do?

He suggested SHE might be able to take the kids Sunday.

I know the kids like HER, and they enjoy spending time at HER place. So I agreed.

I called JJ this afternoon to find out what the verdict was. SHE was willing to do it. The kids are staying at HER place tonight, and SHE will be dropping the kids off at the ferry Sunday evening so they can get back home.

I said to JJ "say 'thank you' for me". So he said "Thank You." SHE said "You're welcome".

Are we actually going to be civil now?

That would be best for the kids.

And alot less stressful for me.

Emails

JJ sent me another email today -- the kind where he tells me what I have done wrong.

I broke my own rule... again. I responded to it.

A very short response.

I told him if he didn't stop sending me that kind of email, that he would force me to block him.

It's all spelled out for him there... no way he can misunderstand that.

Unless he really tries.

Liar, Cheater, Jerk

IJ and JMJ returned home from visiting their dad this evening. While we were talking, IJ suddenly said "Oh, mom. Guess what? Our cat isn't dead. Dad still has her."

I could not believe my ears! I was told the cat had been put to sleep.

JMJ said "IJ, we aren't supposed to tell mom!"

I immediately phoned JJ and chewed him out royally. I nearly swore at him! IJ has been very upset the last few weeks because we thought the cat was dead. It turns out JJ had our cat at HER house.

JJ said to me "what was I supposed to say?" I replied "tell the truth" and hung up on him.

Two hours later, he phoned me again. He apologised. He thinks saying "sorry" will make everything better.

For some reason he thought I would be happy to hear the cat had returned to health. I told him I am only feeling anger. Anger at his lies.

And I hung up on him again.

He's Doing It Again

JJ sent me some emails on Friday. His tone has changed... instead of trying to tell me what went wrong, he is being hostile and accusing.

It really disturbed me.

I phoned him before I read the whole thing. I told him to stop emailing me. I told him if he has something to say to me, he can phone me.

He ruined my whole day.

Then I saw him on Saturday.

I took IJ to Sensational Suppers ( http://sensationalsuppers.com/ ) to do some cooking. JJ picked up JMJ when we arrived, and came back for IJ when we were finished. We spoke very few words to each other. He handed me the child support cheque and asked what time to come back for IJ. That was the extent of our conversation.

When IJ and I were finished cooking, we went into the reception area. JJ was sitting there waiting for him. There was also a woman sitting there yapping away on a cell phone. I didn't realized the two of them were together... it was HER.

It was the first time I've seen HER. I was smiling to myself... she lacks all of the physical features JJ told me he is attracted to. She is short and fat. And she wears alot of greasy makeup.

There are other things JJ has told me he doesn't like about HER... she is a smoker, and she gets stupid after a drink or two.

Of course, he also told me things he does like about HER.

She is an excellent housekeeper. She cleans up after JJ. She never asks him to help with dishes or other household chores.

I guess he feels gaining a maid is worth sacrificing an attractive, healthy, intelligent woman.

I'm sure they will be very neutral together.

Smoking

When I was in high school, I told my best friend that I would never date a smoker. I'm allergic to tobacco, and find the odour offensive.

Well, FdM is a smoker. We aren't formally dating, but we do spend alot of time together.

FdM saw his cardiologist today. He told FdM to stop smoking.

FdM said "I'm trying to. I have woman in my life now."

"And she's telling you to quit?" the Dr asked.

"Actually, she hasn't," FdM replied. "I just can't kiss her."

The Dr liked that.

FdM kissed me one night a month or so ago. About 10 minutes later, my throat started to constrict. I was having an allergic reaction to him! He hadn't had a smoke in several hours at that point, but I still reacted to it.

It was quite unexpected. Second hand smoke gives me a sore throat. Intense exposure may make me vomit. This was only the second time in my life I've experienced a constricting throat. The first time was in response to drinking some cheap whiskey when I was 19. But Anaphylaxis in response to a kiss? This is a new experience.

One that I don't want to repeat.

What A Jerk!

JJ was chatting with my mom recently, and he told her I served him with divorce papers. Trying to make me look like the bad guy.

I told mom that when we were trying to work things out, the only thing I asked him to do was stop seeing his girlfriend. He wouldn't, so we're done.

She said "He has a girlfriend?"

I guess he didn't mention that little tidbit.

"Since July", I told her.

"He said you have a boyfriend" she replied.

"Kind of," I answered.

FdM and I are good friends. We enjoy working together. We enjoy spending time together. We enjoy doing things for each other, and with each other.

Boyfriend? No.

He is much more than that.

He is the man in my life.

A Positive Influence In My Life

That is what FdM has been. A Positive Influence.

My stress level has gone down. I'm less irritable. I don't get mad at the kids as much. I have fewer sleepless nights. I don't feel so lonely when I'm alone.

I'm happy.

Not just once in a while. Not just for an hour or two.

Consistently.

And it feels good.



He makes me happy. That has had a big impact on my life. I enjoy other things more. Things like cooking meals, baking with my kids, walking the dogs.

I've also found that I do things for him, just because.

I make sure he gets lunch... whether I'm buying something and bringing it back to the office, or making enough to share when I pack my own lunch. It makes me feel good because it makes him feel good.

He does the same thing. During a quiet time in the office, he will suggest we go for a walk, or he will go buy hot chocolate and we will sit down and have a break together.

If one of us is feeling stressed, the other will give a shoulder rub. We greet each other with a hug in the morning. We have playful banter going on throughout the day.

We have respect and appreciation for each other.

And that is the greatest aphrodisiac of all.

Falling In Love

FdM and I didn't get much work done at the office today. That's ok, though. Neither of us was actually scheduled to be there today.

He took me out for lunch. I had feta and spinach crepes. It was really good.

After lunch, we went back to the office. And spent most of the remainder of the day just talking. And I mean the remainder of the day. It was dark out by the time we headed home.

We had a really good talk about our feelings, about my kids, about our likes and dislikes, about what kind of people we are. FdM is a very special man.

And I told him so.

He is concerned about the state of his health, and our age difference. He is 12 1/2 years older than me, and has heart problems. He may only have another 10 or 15 years left, and he is concerned about me being widowed before I'm 60.

I have told him several times that I've thought about that. I also pointed out that I could be hit by a drunk driver on my way home tonight, and he would never see me again.

He said he would never forget me.

I've told him a few times now that my grandmother married a man 10 years older than herself when she was 63. For some reason, I haven't told him the rest of the story. I meant to. I better email him while I'm thinking of it.

GM married BG 4 years after grandpa passed away. BG was 10 years older than GM. At the time, I couldn't understand why she would marry someone that much older than her... especially at her age! Well, after BG passed away 19 years later, I was talking to one of my aunts. She told me what GM told her once.

GM was very happy with BG. When they got up in the morning, they each made their side of the bed then went into the kitchen together. BG would set the table while GM made breakfast. They would eat together, then each take their dishes to the sink. GM would wash the dishes and BG would dry them and put them away. Then they would walk into the living room together.

The key word in this story is together.

Together, they made the bed, prepared meals and cleaned up. Together was their life.

Why do people get married? Because they want to spend more time together.

They had 19 years together, plus the two or three years they were courting. They were happy together.

And that is what is really important.

What An Idiot !!

I was working on JJ's taxes today. He gave me his day planner for the year because that is where he recorded his daily mileage.

What did I find?

He had a date with HER on May 15. He met HER for lunch at 2:00 at Pebbles restaurant. It's all there in his handwriting.

He told me that a friend fixed him up with HER a few weeks after he left me.

He moved out June 17.

I don't know about your calendar, but my calendar says May is before June.

I had to stop working after I found that. I was too distracted.

I did, however, make a copy of that page for myself.

I would sure like to see the look on his face when he finds out I saw that.

Sensational Stuff Transpires

Today is Monday.

And it has been a great day!

A client was very happy with my service last week. I've been doing their tax returns for 6 or 7 years now. Every couple of years, they give me a thank-you gift. Twice now they have given me a huge fruit basket with chocolates, cookies, gourmet coffee and whatever else they found. This year, they gave me a gift certificate for a meal at one of my favourite restaurants, and 3 gift certificates for a coffee shop I've been meaning to check out.

My clients are so good to me.

Tomorow, FdM is taking me out for breakfast.

Then, VN is taking me out for lunch.

My employees are so good to me.

JJ's car is out of my driveway.

The kids aren't fighting tonight.

The puppy is house-trained.

The discomfort of surgery is long gone.

It has been a really good day.

Now, I'll have a really good sleep to top it off.

May Contain: JJ; Recovery, Yard Work; Dogs; Star Trek; FdM; Stupid Advertizers; Peanuts or Other Nuts.

I noticed I hadn't written anything about JJ for a while. That is good. I saw him today... he cleaned the bird room when he dropped the kids off this evening. I went to the grocery store to get something for supper and for kids' lunches, and when I returned home, JJ was gone.

I felt nothing.

No pain. No urge to be with him.

Nothing.

He is just another person.

Of course, that is sad, too. Or, it would be, if he wasn't just another person.

I did some yard work today. Nothing strenuous... I'm still recovering from surgery. I cleaned up the dogs' land mines, picked up a bunch of garbage that has blown into the yard, removed some dead plants from the flower garden and some tree branches that blew down in the big wind storms we had this winter.

Then I decided to do some painting. I used JJ's car ramps as a saw horse, and laid my mouldings on them. Then I primed them. The car ramps are now partly white. They will still work when JJ picks them up. They are just a different colour now.

The yard looks much better now. Except for the white patches of grass where I was painting.

VN took the dogs to her place for the night on Friday. She wanted to give me a break during my recovery. FdM came over Friday night and we watched Star Trek Voyager. It was a nice, quiet evening -- just the two of us, on the couch together, watching TV.

I didn't zap the commercials out of my Star Trek tapes, so we watched them, too. It was really cool how we got into bashing the commercials. Some of those ad characters are really stupid!

So that is one more thing we have in common -- ad bashing. I'll have to teach him to play "Name That Commercial". The object of the game is to be the first to correctly identify the product being sold before the product is named. My sister and I have been playing since we were teenagers. Some commercials stump us every time we see them... they are so stupid, that they can't even make us remember what they are trying to sell us!