It Wasn't All Bad
JJ and I had some good times.
I remember one Thursday morning, he rolled over, squeezed my arm and said "you don't feel well. You should call in sick today." It took him a while, but he managed to get me to call in sick. Then he did the same. We spent most of the day in bed together. Then we went out to a movie. It was the 2pm showing of Cool World.
Wow. You know it's a special memory when you recall that many details.
On our first anniversary, we went on a Rail and Cruise day trip. It was a 2 hour ride on a steam engine (The Royal Hudson), an hour at a park with a beautiful waterfall, and a dinner cruise back home again.
It was really nice to take a break from our daily routine. It gave us some much-needed time together. We pledged to do something special together every year on our anniversary.
Then we didn't.
One night, when the kids were very small, I got home from work to find that JJ had arranged for a babysitter. He took me out for dinner. What a nice surprise! He had never taken the initiative to find a sitter before. Another day, he arranged for my mother to watch the boys so he could take me out. He asked me what I wanted to do. He was expecting me to pick a movie to go to. But I didn't. I suggested a walk through the forrest followed by going out for cheesecake. We had so little time alone together at that point in time that I didn't want to spend it in a dark room not talking to each other.
We had a good time on our walk. We laughed and talked and fooled around. We didn't find any cheesecake, but we did manage to get some dessert.
Somewhere along the line, I noticed something peculiar: We always made love the day the bedding was washed. That wasn't the only time... but always on the day the bedding was washed. I brought it to JJs attention, and we had a laugh about it. Then the bedding started getting washed more often.
We were cuddling in the living room one night, watching a movie we rented. It was getting late, and he had to get up early for the morning commute. We were discussing the movie (a rarity... he never liked me talking during the show). We were caressing each other. We were really enjoying being together. Then he did something totally out of character -- he turned off the movie! I had never seen him do that before. He turned off the movie and led me to the bedroom. That night, I was something special. He chose to be with me over being entertained by the TV. It was truely a night to remember.
============================================
I tend to talk about the bad stuff -- probably trying to justify to myself why we broke up. We had some really good times. I don't want to forget that. JJ has alot of good qualities. If he didn't, I never would have married him in the first place.
There were times I felt like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day -- endlessly repeating the same day over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over....
Other times, life was new and exciting; full of fun in the present and hope for the future.
When I was sick, he would take time off work to take care of me. When the kids were sick, we took turns staying home with them. JJ always took the first turn, because his job gave him paid sick days. I've never had paid sick days. I was always proud of the fact that he used his time that way.
Now that we are apart, I make sure he knows what days the kids have off school. He took 3 days off work to spend with the kids during Spring Break. He drove JMJ to school one day just to meet his teacher.
It is nice to see him active in the kids lives. They need their dad.
And it gives me time to find what I need.
JJ and I had some good times.
I remember one Thursday morning, he rolled over, squeezed my arm and said "you don't feel well. You should call in sick today." It took him a while, but he managed to get me to call in sick. Then he did the same. We spent most of the day in bed together. Then we went out to a movie. It was the 2pm showing of Cool World.
Wow. You know it's a special memory when you recall that many details.
On our first anniversary, we went on a Rail and Cruise day trip. It was a 2 hour ride on a steam engine (The Royal Hudson), an hour at a park with a beautiful waterfall, and a dinner cruise back home again.
It was really nice to take a break from our daily routine. It gave us some much-needed time together. We pledged to do something special together every year on our anniversary.
Then we didn't.
One night, when the kids were very small, I got home from work to find that JJ had arranged for a babysitter. He took me out for dinner. What a nice surprise! He had never taken the initiative to find a sitter before. Another day, he arranged for my mother to watch the boys so he could take me out. He asked me what I wanted to do. He was expecting me to pick a movie to go to. But I didn't. I suggested a walk through the forrest followed by going out for cheesecake. We had so little time alone together at that point in time that I didn't want to spend it in a dark room not talking to each other.
We had a good time on our walk. We laughed and talked and fooled around. We didn't find any cheesecake, but we did manage to get some dessert.
Somewhere along the line, I noticed something peculiar: We always made love the day the bedding was washed. That wasn't the only time... but always on the day the bedding was washed. I brought it to JJs attention, and we had a laugh about it. Then the bedding started getting washed more often.
We were cuddling in the living room one night, watching a movie we rented. It was getting late, and he had to get up early for the morning commute. We were discussing the movie (a rarity... he never liked me talking during the show). We were caressing each other. We were really enjoying being together. Then he did something totally out of character -- he turned off the movie! I had never seen him do that before. He turned off the movie and led me to the bedroom. That night, I was something special. He chose to be with me over being entertained by the TV. It was truely a night to remember.
============================================
I tend to talk about the bad stuff -- probably trying to justify to myself why we broke up. We had some really good times. I don't want to forget that. JJ has alot of good qualities. If he didn't, I never would have married him in the first place.
There were times I felt like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day -- endlessly repeating the same day over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over....
Other times, life was new and exciting; full of fun in the present and hope for the future.
When I was sick, he would take time off work to take care of me. When the kids were sick, we took turns staying home with them. JJ always took the first turn, because his job gave him paid sick days. I've never had paid sick days. I was always proud of the fact that he used his time that way.
Now that we are apart, I make sure he knows what days the kids have off school. He took 3 days off work to spend with the kids during Spring Break. He drove JMJ to school one day just to meet his teacher.
It is nice to see him active in the kids lives. They need their dad.
And it gives me time to find what I need.
posted by Tempeste at Sunday, March 18, 2007
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