How "Over" Can Over Be?
JJ stopped by the office on Friday. He dropped off the child support cheque and the signed separation agreement. He gave me my house key back. He asked me to give him his.
He said goodbye, and turned to leave. I felt an almost overwhelming urge to give him a kiss, but I didn't. Not now. We're over. He left the office.
I felt an emptiness inside. He's gone.
Since I was at work, it didn't last long. Soon, the hustle and bustle of a busy tax office filled the empty space inside me.
When I got home, my sister told me JJ stopped by. They talked for about a half hour. JJ looked at the new counter-top dishwasher I bought recently and criticized it. It only holds 4 place settings. It takes up counter space. He thought it should be on the other side of the sink. He thought it would be better if it faced the sink instead of facing the stove. He thought a lot of things.
When I was telling FdM about it, I made the observation that my sister is able to interpret JJ's actions, while I react to them. She interpreted his statements about the dishwasher as a control issue. If he had said those things to me, I would not have analyzed his words... I would have defended my choices. I guess that is why we are such a poor match -- he wants control, and I have a brain.
FdM made an interesting observation about me. He said I can be really anal about how things get done, but at the same time I am very flexible.
When FdM was working for me two years ago, he politely suggested an alternate way to perform one of the office tasks. I heard him out, then explained why we do that task the way I asked him to. With 8 years' experience at that time, I had tried a couple of different methods. What I asked him to do was what worked best for me.
Last summer, VN adapted some procedures she was taught when she worked in an accountants office many years ago. She showed me what she was doing, and I helped her set it up to accomodate our clients' needs. She had a great idea. It will keep us from re-inventing the wheel for each new client.
That is one thing I love about new employees: The new ideas they bring with them.
But JJ doesn't give me any input. He just comes along and tells me how things should be done. That puts me on the defensive, the result of which is that I reject everything he says.
JJ tells me I'm his best friend. Then he treats me like a peon. I tell my employees their job is to make my life easier. Then I treat them like family.
JJ stopped by the office on Friday. He dropped off the child support cheque and the signed separation agreement. He gave me my house key back. He asked me to give him his.
He said goodbye, and turned to leave. I felt an almost overwhelming urge to give him a kiss, but I didn't. Not now. We're over. He left the office.
I felt an emptiness inside. He's gone.
Since I was at work, it didn't last long. Soon, the hustle and bustle of a busy tax office filled the empty space inside me.
When I got home, my sister told me JJ stopped by. They talked for about a half hour. JJ looked at the new counter-top dishwasher I bought recently and criticized it. It only holds 4 place settings. It takes up counter space. He thought it should be on the other side of the sink. He thought it would be better if it faced the sink instead of facing the stove. He thought a lot of things.
When I was telling FdM about it, I made the observation that my sister is able to interpret JJ's actions, while I react to them. She interpreted his statements about the dishwasher as a control issue. If he had said those things to me, I would not have analyzed his words... I would have defended my choices. I guess that is why we are such a poor match -- he wants control, and I have a brain.
FdM made an interesting observation about me. He said I can be really anal about how things get done, but at the same time I am very flexible.
When FdM was working for me two years ago, he politely suggested an alternate way to perform one of the office tasks. I heard him out, then explained why we do that task the way I asked him to. With 8 years' experience at that time, I had tried a couple of different methods. What I asked him to do was what worked best for me.
Last summer, VN adapted some procedures she was taught when she worked in an accountants office many years ago. She showed me what she was doing, and I helped her set it up to accomodate our clients' needs. She had a great idea. It will keep us from re-inventing the wheel for each new client.
That is one thing I love about new employees: The new ideas they bring with them.
But JJ doesn't give me any input. He just comes along and tells me how things should be done. That puts me on the defensive, the result of which is that I reject everything he says.
JJ tells me I'm his best friend. Then he treats me like a peon. I tell my employees their job is to make my life easier. Then I treat them like family.
posted by Tempeste at Tuesday, February 27, 2007
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