Coffee With a Friend
Another crazy busy day at the office.
When things slowed down, FdM and I went out for coffee.
I really enjoy his company.
We talked about how well things are going at the office... we had another record-breaking day today. We discussed some tax topics and some employee issues. Then he suddenly asked me about my feelings for him.
I'm sure he does that on purpose. He just throws these deep personal questions at me in the middle of a totally unrelated discussion. I think he just likes to see me flustered. It amuses him.
I told him that I want a good friend right now, and that I hope that friendship grows into something more.
He told me that he is in a kind of woman-hating phase right now. He's been hurt deeply by his wife, and is afraid to trust another woman right now. He feels as if he will never be over that hurt.
I recognize that feeling. I didn't go through a man-hating phase. I did go through a time when I thought I would never be over the hurt. I felt as if I was going to be alone for the rest of my life. JJ and I separated 8 months ago. I've been feeling that I would never have a special someone in my life again for well over a year. It takes time for the feeling to pass.
Right now, I have hope for the future. The pain isn't all gone yet. It still hurts to hear JJs voice. It still hurts to see JJ and know I can't touch him. We were together for over 20 years. Even after analyzing our relationship and realizing just how unhappy he made me, I still miss him. It gets a little easier each day. But I still have a long way to go. FdMs friendship makes the journey more bearable.
I have no idea how long we were out of the office for our coffee. It was nearly closing time when we got back. We both had some work to finish up. The other employees left for the day. FdM and I shut down the computers. I turned out all the lights. We were standing in my office, and he put his arms around me and he kissed me. I held him close, and kissed him right back. I could feel the stress melting away.
Then we each went home.
I'm looking forward to work tomorow. It will be another busy day. And FdM will be there.
Another crazy busy day at the office.
When things slowed down, FdM and I went out for coffee.
I really enjoy his company.
We talked about how well things are going at the office... we had another record-breaking day today. We discussed some tax topics and some employee issues. Then he suddenly asked me about my feelings for him.
I'm sure he does that on purpose. He just throws these deep personal questions at me in the middle of a totally unrelated discussion. I think he just likes to see me flustered. It amuses him.
I told him that I want a good friend right now, and that I hope that friendship grows into something more.
He told me that he is in a kind of woman-hating phase right now. He's been hurt deeply by his wife, and is afraid to trust another woman right now. He feels as if he will never be over that hurt.
I recognize that feeling. I didn't go through a man-hating phase. I did go through a time when I thought I would never be over the hurt. I felt as if I was going to be alone for the rest of my life. JJ and I separated 8 months ago. I've been feeling that I would never have a special someone in my life again for well over a year. It takes time for the feeling to pass.
Right now, I have hope for the future. The pain isn't all gone yet. It still hurts to hear JJs voice. It still hurts to see JJ and know I can't touch him. We were together for over 20 years. Even after analyzing our relationship and realizing just how unhappy he made me, I still miss him. It gets a little easier each day. But I still have a long way to go. FdMs friendship makes the journey more bearable.
I have no idea how long we were out of the office for our coffee. It was nearly closing time when we got back. We both had some work to finish up. The other employees left for the day. FdM and I shut down the computers. I turned out all the lights. We were standing in my office, and he put his arms around me and he kissed me. I held him close, and kissed him right back. I could feel the stress melting away.
Then we each went home.
I'm looking forward to work tomorow. It will be another busy day. And FdM will be there.
posted by Tempeste at Monday, March 05, 2007
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