Resolution?
I started my day on Monday by thinking about what I wanted to say to JJ, and then I wrote it down. I read it several times, to make sure it was non-adversarial. I didn't want to argue... I wanted him to listen to reason. I had 4 main points. I numbered the order I wanted to discuss them, then I phoned him at work.
When I identified myself, he started talking like we were best friends. He sounded happy, jovial. I had to interrupt him to get the conversation started.
I told him we had to talk. He asked "about what?" "2am phone calls." "What do you mean?" "JJ! You were there!"
I couldn't believe he was acting like it had never happened!
He knew he was out of line with his phone call. He made excuses... SHE put him up to it. I knew SHE had. He made excuses for HER. I said something about the second phone call, and he said "what second phone call?" "When SHE called me." "SHE called you? I didn't know that."
SHE picked up his phone when he was in another room, and called me without his knowledge.
By the time I had gone over everything in my notes, he was still talking to me. He hadn't hung up on me. So we continued to talk for a while. I found out that SHE doesn't let him answer his phone when SHE is around. SHE makes him let it go to voice mail, then check if it is me or the kids calling.
SHE is very insecure. SHE is jealous of me. HER ex has never communicated with HER the way JJ and I do, so HER perception is that there is something wrong with us. SHE is afraid JJ will decide he wants to come back to me.
I guess SHE forgot the part where he cheated and lied to me. I wouldn't take him back if he did want to. He is soiled now. I don't want him.
I was talking to RW and LV this afternoon. They had some good advice for me (I knew they would). Since I was able to have a decent conversation with JJ Monday, when he was at work, RW suggested only calling JJ when he is at work, so SHE doesn't have to know about it.
Now why didn't I think of that!?
Sometimes we just need a second brain to look at a problem.
I started my day on Monday by thinking about what I wanted to say to JJ, and then I wrote it down. I read it several times, to make sure it was non-adversarial. I didn't want to argue... I wanted him to listen to reason. I had 4 main points. I numbered the order I wanted to discuss them, then I phoned him at work.
When I identified myself, he started talking like we were best friends. He sounded happy, jovial. I had to interrupt him to get the conversation started.
I told him we had to talk. He asked "about what?" "2am phone calls." "What do you mean?" "JJ! You were there!"
I couldn't believe he was acting like it had never happened!
He knew he was out of line with his phone call. He made excuses... SHE put him up to it. I knew SHE had. He made excuses for HER. I said something about the second phone call, and he said "what second phone call?" "When SHE called me." "SHE called you? I didn't know that."
SHE picked up his phone when he was in another room, and called me without his knowledge.
By the time I had gone over everything in my notes, he was still talking to me. He hadn't hung up on me. So we continued to talk for a while. I found out that SHE doesn't let him answer his phone when SHE is around. SHE makes him let it go to voice mail, then check if it is me or the kids calling.
SHE is very insecure. SHE is jealous of me. HER ex has never communicated with HER the way JJ and I do, so HER perception is that there is something wrong with us. SHE is afraid JJ will decide he wants to come back to me.
I guess SHE forgot the part where he cheated and lied to me. I wouldn't take him back if he did want to. He is soiled now. I don't want him.
I was talking to RW and LV this afternoon. They had some good advice for me (I knew they would). Since I was able to have a decent conversation with JJ Monday, when he was at work, RW suggested only calling JJ when he is at work, so SHE doesn't have to know about it.
Now why didn't I think of that!?
Sometimes we just need a second brain to look at a problem.
Labels: JJ
posted by Tempeste at Tuesday, August 14, 2007
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