Irritated

That's an understatement.

At 2am, JJ phoned me. I'm glad I was already awake... I woke up with a tickle in my throat, and it had just gone away when the phone rang. The shock of a loud noise like the phone waking me from a deep sleep makes me nauseous.

Since it was 2am, I didn't answer it. I couldn't hear the message from my bedroom, so I got up and played the message. I thought it was JJ, but wasn't positive. I needed to know.

Well, he called me at 2am to tell me not to leave him a message every 12 hours about the same thing. "If I don't return your phone call, that means I didn't do it."

I spoke to him Thursday evening. I asked him if he had time to go to the courthouse on Friday to check on our divorce papers. I had already confirmed that they had been processed... I needed to know if the judge signed the divorce order, or if I needed to submit further information. Naturally, I phoned him early Friday evening to ask if he had managed to get it done. I didn't hear from him, so I phoned him late Saturday morning and left a second, nearly identical, message. He left a message with IJ early Saturday afternoon: "Mom, dad said the answer to your question is 'no'".

So why is he calling me at 2am? My first thought was that SHE put him up to it. I called him right back, and got his voice mail. I left him a short, angry message: "Are you drunk or just stupid? Don't you ever call me at 2am again."

Then I prayed for reasonableness.

Just because he is acting childish doesn't make it right for me to do the same.

That was when the next phone call came, at 2:30.

It was HER. SHE asked if I had learned my lesson about leaving so many messages for JJ. I told HER that if SHE wasn't calling about my kids, SHE had no business calling me, and I hung up.

So there I am, lying in bed, my heart pounding, nasty things running through my head, visibly irritated. I couldn't sleep... I had to vent. Unfortunately, I have no one I can phone at 3am. I decided to make a cup of tea and a blog post.

I kept telling myself: "Be reasonable. Be reasonable." After all, that is what I prayed for. Calling HER house every half hour is not reasonable. Calling JJs cell phone just to fill up his mailbox is not reasonable. Driving to the office and setting the fax machine to HER phone number is not reasonable.

I just wanted a nice, relaxing cup of tea. Too bad I threw away all of my tea when the rats were in that cupboard.

I made a hot lemonaid with strawberry honey instead. I can feel the warmth of it spreading through my body now. I should be able to sleep soon.

HER behaviour worries me. JMJ wants to go live with his dad. What kind of behaviour is he going to learn from HER? Even with just weekend visits once or twice a month, my kids are going to be exposed to HER. And there isn't even anything I can say to the kids about it. SHE is a part of their dad's life... I can't prevent them from being exposed to HER.

I'm going to have to talk to JJ about it. HER actions have the potential to endanger my children. I could block HER phone number, but if my kids are at HER house and need to call me, I wouldn't get the message. I can't turn my phone off at night... 2am phone calls are usually emergencies, and I don't want to miss an important call. A restraining order seems drastic.

I am just going to have to impress upon JJ the importance of civility -- and hope that he tells HER to mind HER own business. I can't tell him how to handle HER. SHE is his new lover -- he still thinks SHE can do no wrong. Perhaps I should simply refuse to acknowledge HER. Not mention HER at all when I talk to JJ about this. Lay all of HER words on his shoulders.

I'm still visibly irritated. Maybe I won't be able to sleep tonight after all. I just won't mention that to JJ.

I'm going to go read for a while now. Perhaps I will fall asleep.