JJ Is Unhappy
When I picked JMJ up at the ferry this weekend, he was telling me about his dad and HER.
One of the things JJ told me he likes about HER is that SHE is willing to relocate to be with him. I was always resistant to the idea of moving.
It turns out, SHE has only moved once in HER life... out of HER mother's house and into HER own house when SHE got married. SHE has been in that same house ever since.
JMJ was telling me that SHE is going out drinking alot right now, having second thoughts about moving. JMJ was telling me that his dad is sometimes happy with HER, and sometimes very unhappy with HER. JMJ was telling me that his dad is having second thoughts about marrying HER.
I have known all along that JJ does not love HER. I thought he was not going to figure that out until after 3 or 4 years of marriage. He has already given HER an engagement ring, so his life may still play out that way. On the other hand, if he is having second thoughts now, maybe he will figure it out before he takes that step.
I was watching "The First Wive's Club" a couple of nights ago. Near the end of the movie, Morty's girlfriend says to him "I'm not Brenda, you know". Morty says "No. You're not." He managed to figure it out... before it was too late. His wife still loved him, and she took him back.
For JJ, it is already too late. It has been for some time now. Sooner or later he is going to realize that what he really wants is me. And he is going to find out that it is too late. He probably knows now that it is too late. Maybe that is why he is so unhappy right now... SHE is not working out, and he knows it is too late to get me back.
It makes me a little bit sad. I do not want to see him suffer. Right now, I would like nothing better than for things to work out between JJ and HER, and for the three of us to communicate and do what is best for the kids. The problem is, SHE is not the kind of person who would ever do that. That is why JJ is having second thoughts... SHE is the wrong kind of person.
Part of me is sad that he is unhappy.
Part of me is pleased.
I do not hate JJ. I never have. Through all the pain, suffering and heartache he has caused, I have never felt hate towards him.
There is still a tiny part of me that still wants to be with him. There is a tiny seed that I keep away from the light, and that I do not water. It looks like something good to grow, but looks are deceiving. If I were to plant this seed, to make it blossom and come to fruit, it would turn out to be poisonous.
JJ has a very strict moral code he lives by. It does not allow him to have a relationship with two women at the same time. So, when he met a woman he liked, he promptly left his wife. His conscience is satisfied.
Loyalty is the single most important characteristic any friend can possess. JJ has shown himself to lack that trait. I will never be able to trust him again. With no loyalty, and no trust, there will never be any respect. Without these three things, there can be no meaningful relationship.
When I picked JMJ up at the ferry this weekend, he was telling me about his dad and HER.
One of the things JJ told me he likes about HER is that SHE is willing to relocate to be with him. I was always resistant to the idea of moving.
It turns out, SHE has only moved once in HER life... out of HER mother's house and into HER own house when SHE got married. SHE has been in that same house ever since.
JMJ was telling me that SHE is going out drinking alot right now, having second thoughts about moving. JMJ was telling me that his dad is sometimes happy with HER, and sometimes very unhappy with HER. JMJ was telling me that his dad is having second thoughts about marrying HER.
I have known all along that JJ does not love HER. I thought he was not going to figure that out until after 3 or 4 years of marriage. He has already given HER an engagement ring, so his life may still play out that way. On the other hand, if he is having second thoughts now, maybe he will figure it out before he takes that step.
I was watching "The First Wive's Club" a couple of nights ago. Near the end of the movie, Morty's girlfriend says to him "I'm not Brenda, you know". Morty says "No. You're not." He managed to figure it out... before it was too late. His wife still loved him, and she took him back.
For JJ, it is already too late. It has been for some time now. Sooner or later he is going to realize that what he really wants is me. And he is going to find out that it is too late. He probably knows now that it is too late. Maybe that is why he is so unhappy right now... SHE is not working out, and he knows it is too late to get me back.
It makes me a little bit sad. I do not want to see him suffer. Right now, I would like nothing better than for things to work out between JJ and HER, and for the three of us to communicate and do what is best for the kids. The problem is, SHE is not the kind of person who would ever do that. That is why JJ is having second thoughts... SHE is the wrong kind of person.
Part of me is sad that he is unhappy.
Part of me is pleased.
I do not hate JJ. I never have. Through all the pain, suffering and heartache he has caused, I have never felt hate towards him.
There is still a tiny part of me that still wants to be with him. There is a tiny seed that I keep away from the light, and that I do not water. It looks like something good to grow, but looks are deceiving. If I were to plant this seed, to make it blossom and come to fruit, it would turn out to be poisonous.
JJ has a very strict moral code he lives by. It does not allow him to have a relationship with two women at the same time. So, when he met a woman he liked, he promptly left his wife. His conscience is satisfied.
Loyalty is the single most important characteristic any friend can possess. JJ has shown himself to lack that trait. I will never be able to trust him again. With no loyalty, and no trust, there will never be any respect. Without these three things, there can be no meaningful relationship.
posted by Tempeste at Saturday, October 20, 2007
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