Reasons we Married / Separated

I read a few years ago that the reasons people give for breaking up are often the same as the reasons they got married in the first place.

The example they gave was "I married him because he was the life of the party and I wanted to be more like him". "I'm leaving him because he always wants to go out, never wants to just spend time at home with me alone."

Let's see if this applies to JJ and me.

We met at Art School. I needed someone to help me do some research, and he volunteered. I picked him up after dark, and we went to the cemetary. I was making a model of a cemetary, and needed to take a close look at one -- the layout, headstone shapes, dates and any other details.

I remember him saying, as we were headed back to my car, "Any girl who goes to a cemetary in the middle of the night to feel up headstones can't be too bad."

A few months ago, he told me that he became attracted to me that night. I was unusual. He liked that I was willing to do odd things. He liked the way I looked in my blue jeans and T-shirt. The way I dressed reflected my personality... that I was always ready to go out and do things, not afraid to get my hands dirty.

So, why did he leave me?

One of his complaints is that I don't dress nice. All I ever wear is blue jeans and a T-shirt. Why can't I be more like other women? Fuss with my hair, grow my fingernails long, wear a dress?

There we have it. The theory holds true in this case. There are, of course, more reasons for the break-up. But this thing about how I look and act is a really big deal to him... and it is the one thing that hasn't changed in the slightest since he met me.

In summary, the first things that attracted him to me are now among the things that are driving him away.

Odd.